I’m going to inject so much goodness into your lives right now. You ready? Break-ups. We all go through them whether we want to or not. Some of us had a kindergarten kiss and maybe even a kindergarten boyfriend or girlfriend and if that’s true, then maybe even kindergarten heartbreak. Aww, so sad and so cute. Actually, now that I think about it I didn’t have kindergarten anything, except for markers and paint all over my face probs.
My first heartbreak was in high school. I dated a guy for a few years, but it was one of those on/off again relationships. So it was more like 2 years of dating and 2 years of “it’s complicated”. I kept getting dumped! Time and time again. You know when you date someone and they hit you with the, “I just want to be single and party” line? That’s how I got dumped like 4 times, and I would always cry my little heart out. Then I’m all like, “Why doesn’t he love me?” and feel sorry for myself all the time. He’d inevitably come back to me and I always took him back. *Roll eyes*.
After we got back together the last time, things were different. I was totally over the toxic cycle of our relationship and I saw the light (not to sound cheesy). I dumped him and I moved on with my damn life. A girl can only handle so many games and inconsistent (or consistent, depending how you look at it) behavior. I touch on this in my birthday post about always knowing your self worth. I had been strung along and toyed with for the benefit of someone else and I was finally able to see it.
After I broke up with him, I felt so rejuvenated! I felt so relieved and so fresh. I felt like a new woman ready to take on the world. Did I cry? Nope. Did I miss him? NOPE. Feeling this way after a break-up is when you know you made the right decision. This is why I say not all break-ups are bad. Even if the feeling isn’t mutual! Of course when it’s mutual, it’s a little easier to handle because both people want the same thing, but when one person wants to break up and the other one doesn’t, it can suck…real bad.
If you’re the person who wants the break-up, great! You’ll end up feeling like me, amazing and free! If you’re the person who doesn’t want the break-up, then changing your perspective on it will hopefully help you deal with your new single life. Do you ever wonder why some relationships don’t last? I do, and the best reason I can come up with is…maybe that relationship isn’t meant to last. I believe people are put into your life for a reason. There’s a reason you started dating someone and there’s a reason why it ended.
If you think back to a relationship that you wish never ended, think about what you’ve learned. What has that person taught you? There has to be something, there always is. That person was put into your life to help you understand what you want in a life partner or maybe what you don’t want. There were things I hated about my ex, but I continued the relationship. Why? Love is blind, y’all! I didn’t see these traits as a problem because I “loved” him. I used to ask myself, “Why did I date him for so long?” Well, it’s simple…I was being taught lessons! I was learning about myself even though I failed to see it.
From that relationship I learned so many valuable things about myself that I wouldn’t have discovered otherwise. In combination with other relationships in my life, I’ve learned exactly what I like and don’t like in a partner. I know exactly what I’m willing to tolerate and what I’m not. I’ve also learned what to offer someone in a relationship. Can you see what I mean? If these break-ups didn’t happen, we wouldn’t know any of this stuff. We gain so much life experience from relationships that don’t work out. Of course you’re going to cry and you’re going to be sad. That’s fine because that’s a natural part of healing. Let yourself be sad! Eat ice cream and chips, watch sappy movies, and text your friends how bad it sucks. Then once you get through the sadness you can start to move on. Remember what you’ve gained from the relationship and understand that person was placed in your life for those reasons. This is when reflection will help soothe the soul. If you start to think this way then I promise you it’ll help you shed one less tear.