The dreaded Brazilian wax. No one wants to get it done, but we all want to be hair-free. Why us, God? Why do we have hair in places we don’t want hair? I mean a little hair never hurt anybody, but a full bush and booty hole hair? C’mon maaaan. Most girls will start shaving between the ages of 13-15. It’s quick, discreet, and painless. It takes 2 seconds to quickly get rid of a few bikini hairs. Our mom doesn’t have to know cause we’ll just sneak the razor in and out of the bathroom, and if we have a steady hand there shouldn’t be any blood or pain. Perhaps a little razor burn or ingrown hairs, but nothing major.
First things first, girls, there’s nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to hair removal. We are human beings. We all have hair down there, and believe it or not, you’re not the only person that wants it gone. Of course, shaving will get the job done, but then the inevitable itch comes within 4 days. You know the itch when the hairs start to grow back? It’s blunt, coarse, and ITCHY. So what do we do? Shave it again, again, and again. Until you get to the point where you think to yourself, “OMG. I can’t deal with this anymore. I’m just gonna wax it off!” You might call up your girlfriends and ask them what they do with their hair, or you might do some googling and find a salon that offers cheap waxing services, or you might pull up your big girl panties and ask your mom for advice. Your mother is a smart human being and she will always know what to do… about everything. Remember that your mom used to be your age, and she dealt with this long before you were ever thought of.
I was lucky when it came to hair removal. My mother is an esthetician, and she took the reigns before I even had a chance to think about my leg hairs. I started bikini waxes at 14. It was just a little clean up so nothing was poking out of my underwear and that’s what I did for years. I slowly started to develop a deeper hatred for hair. Not just in my bikini area, but all over my body. I wish I could just jump into a pool of wax and have one big wax strip rip off all the hair I don’t want. I eventually started to wax my legs, arms, underarms, brows, and upper lip. Let’s just say pretty much my entire body.
It was during this hatred that I was like, “Fuck it! I’m gonna do a full Brazilian.” I didn’t want my mom doing a full Brazilian on me cause I was scared of the pain, and she is an aggressive waxer. It’s like she sees red when she waxes and goes crazy! So I had this idea that I would use her wax pot and just try to do it myself. MAY DAY, Houston, we have a problem. I found myself in the most contorted positions trying to pull this stupid wax strip off, and I failed miserably. I was in such agony because the wax burned the shit out of my skin, and I was too damn scared to pull the strip off. I kept trying to count to 3 and rip, but I just couldn’t find it in me to pull! So, here I am in my bedroom in a pathetic sumo squat with wax strips all over my pubes.
I had created such a mess that I had to remove the strips with baby oil and Vaseline because I just couldn’t get the strip off the hair. That’s kind of the point of waxing, though. It’s not supposed to separate from the hair it’s supposed to take the hair with it! I looked ridiculous. I couldn’t even tell you how many hours I spent trying to free myself of wax. I will tell you one thing, I never ever attempted to wax myself again. I learned the hard way and sought out professional help, my sister. My sister is also a professional esthetician and she’s a lot gentler than my mother, so I asked her.
For those of you that don’t know the difference between a bikini and a Brazilian, I’ll give you a quick definition. A bikini is removal of pubic hair along the bikini line. The basic guideline for a bikini wax is the outline of your underwear. Wax will be applied just inside the lines of your panties so you don’t have any little hairs poking out to say hello. A Brazilian is the full removal of pubic hair including the booty hole. Some will leave a central “landing strip”, triangle shape, or have it fully removed “bald eagle” style. Go with whatever appeals to you. The most important thing you have to do before your scheduled appointment is to stop shaving. The hair has to be a certain length for waxing to be effective. 2.5-3 weeks growth from the last shave, or if we are getting technical, 1 centimeter of growth. If you go to your appointment with premature hair it’s very possible the wax will not grab the hair properly and all that pain will be for nothing.
Before heading into your appointment you’ll want to make sure you are nice and clean. Take a shower before you go, and if you don’t have time to shower at least carry some baby wipes with you and wipe off really well. Be courteous to your esthetician. She would absolutely appreciate a clean area to work with. I’d know… I do this for a living. If you haven’t read my About Me post, I’m a licensed esthetician of 6 years.
If this is your first time getting a bikini or a Brazilian wax, I recommend taking Advil or Tylenol half an hour prior to help with the pain. Your esthetician will ask you to remove your clothing from the waist down and lay on the bed. Yes girls, you will have to bare it all. There’s no need to be shy about exposing your lady parts. Remember that your dealing with a professional. Waxing is just part of our job descriptions, and we could care less what your parts look like. Whether it’s an eyebrow wax or a Brazilian wax, it’s all the same thing. We, as estheticians, have one goal, and that’s to get the hair off. Depending on your service, there may be disposable panties available for a bikini wax, but for a Brazilian, it’s best to remove everything. That way there’s nothing getting in the way, and the job will get done quicker! Isn’t that what we want?
Your esthetician will tell you if she needs help pulling the skin to keep it nice and tight. She will only have one free hand to keep the skin taut because the other hand will be pulling off the waxing strip, so getting help from the client is very common. Fact: the tighter the skin the less pain you feel. Keep that in mind. Your esthetician may also ask you to position your leg in certain directions or even flip over to your side. Different positions allow the hair to be removed easier than other positions. So you may find yourself working up a sweat, flipping, turning, and rotating. Look ladies, Brazilians are painful. Yes, everybody has a different pain tolerance, but they will never be enjoyable. We have to suck it up and get it over with. The sting lasts for 3 seconds after the strip is pulled, and then it goes away. Before you know it, you’re done!
You’ll want to take precaution with your sensitive area now that you are all smooth. For 24 hours avoid tanning, swimming, hot tubbing, and any type of activity where bacteria can make its way into your skin and cause irritation. Your bikini area may remain tender for a couple of hours. That’s normal. You can apply Aloe Vera soothing lotion or coconut oil to protect the area and help avoid any clothing from too much rubbing.
After all this work, you should find yourself feeling smooth for 2-3 weeks (varies per person). Two full weeks of no hair? Now that’s a lot better than shaving, am I right? On average, Brazilians should be done every 3-4 weeks, and as time passes you’ll find your hair slowly starting to grow back finer and sparser. Stick to a consist schedule, and you’ll find yourself taking on Brazilians like a champ!
If you have any questions about Brazilians comment below!